Where is my mind…?
I would like to ask my imaginary readers a few questions. Questions that I believe people are faced with every day of their lives but cannot seem to answer until much much later. So reader… Who are you? At what age did you find yourself or at what age do you think you will find yourself? Who do you want to be? Why do you want to be that?
I seem to be having a constant struggle with some of these questions lately. I felt like I had it all figured it out.. kind of I guess… Just at least where I was going to be next year, who were going to be my friends, and what I was going to be doing.
But, something has come upon me and I am not very sure what it is. I want to be something. Something better than I am right now. Something greater than I, greater than will my boyfriend think I look in this pic that I posted on Instagram, greater than is this outfit to underdressed for the next get together I am going to.
I see all these different kind of people around me and I see their flaws but I also see their greatness. I wonder, how did they get there, is it better to be like them? I have this empty pit inside me and I can’t seem to figure it out. I tried to talk to one of the people I thought was the closest to me, and they did not seem to understand me at all. Maybe, they aren’t they close, maybe they don’t really know me, maybe everything I thought is totally false.
I believe I am going through the Who am I phase. I need to find myself, but how do I do that exactly. I have no idea who I want to be and how to figure that I want. I have this want this need for something greater. Even now, while I am writing this post I seem to have this anxious feeling inside me to get these thoughts out but I cannot seem to do it. We all want things I guess, some just know what they want and I, well I am still trying to figure that part out.
Where is my mind, I ask.
Everywhere and nowhere, I answer.